30.7.05

I'm Dragging out the Soap

My Dear Friend,
Oh! How I wish I could offer you some comforting words other than; welcome to the new United States of America. Home of the picked pockets; fleeced dreams and new state of slavery for all.
I haven't heard of one person that hasn't been battling on the same front here on our own soil. That's a thing of the past too. Our own soil. What a joke.
We've traded in the American Dream of owning our own piece of dirt and having our own nice home and money in the bank and clothes on our backs and educations for ourselves and our kids and health insurance to make sure we all have nice pretty white smiles and healthy bodies; where we don't have to be afraid to take a week off work for a much needed vacation to rest and recuperate or just visit with our families. That good old fashioned quality time we keep hearing so much about.
Instead we get taxed to death for a bunch of hypocrites in our government who are there to serve us, but fill their own pockets and kill our young men for causes only they know. We're lied to, cheated, swindled and just plain jacked around and handed the bills to pay for all their vacations, meals, and other bull shit they pad their expense accounts under the guise of working for us.
I wish I could do something alone to help the hurts of my own people here in the United States; but I can't get anyone to wake up and smell the coffee.
We will never ever get control of our country as long as we sit back and do nothing to change it. We are just passing on to our kids the worst possible future there could be.
That's part of the strategy of our new leaders. Keep us down and we can't do anything. Only the strongest will survive. Those that are tired of fighting will get kicked aside and trampled.
I've been one of those that got trampled. I've been forced to living in the street twice in my lifetime of soon to be 63 years. Once in my mid 30's and once at 57.
Each time it's happened I had only one being to thank for my help I received. God.
So all I can offer you is the suggestion to get to know him; it's a lonely and scary place in the streets.
Women and children make up over 80% of those living in the streets. The rest are drug addicts, perverts and drunks.
Nice place to raise kids,,,,huh? That's why they get sucked into the mire of gangs, selling drugs, their bodies and their futures.
We are all connected in this world; weather we want to admit it or not.
What each of us does slops over onto other people. All we can do is our best, and hope for the best, and fight our best for the best. It's the spirit of Americans that will save all of us; don't let her die in you. Do all you can to keep her alive: determined to succeed even against it all. Determined to wind up on top no matter how many times we fall back into the street. Determined to elect representatives that will work for us first. Determined to change the laws to represent what we want to have happen in our lives.
We want good jobs that pay good money.
We want to have pride in ourselves our families, and our country.
We want to be respected for who we are, not because of our sex, our religion, or politics.
We want to be able to enjoy our lives for as long as we can have quality living; that includes all ages, colors, sexes politics and beliefs.
We are all genuine loving people when we aren't beaten down with worry, fear and sorrow.
I can offer you other peoples stories. Requests for prayers of help, support and encouragement. Wonderful reports of great good things happening in the lives of other people just like you and me.
For now, those stories of real people from real people and prayer is all I have. I would offer more if I could but until the blessing of affluence comes my way, that's all I can give you.
http://shareyourlight.blogspot.com

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27.7.05

Within the Tempest a Still Small Voice.

The past few days I've been in a melancholy state; blue; down, depressed, sad. Why? Lots of reasons.
I guess the main one would be I'm tired of being alone, broke, and stuck at home. My family are all too busy to make time for me in their lives. I can't afford to do anything to break the monotony, and I am fed up: with trying to clean with water, paint when I'm not happy, go for days without talking with someone face to face, and I don't talk on the phone unless I'm the one doing the calling; then it's like I'm an imposing or intruding even if I haven't called for days.

I'm tired of eating crap I'm not suppose to eat; because, I can't buy what I should eat. I can't visit anyone, or drive anywhere; I have to save the gas for when I go back to work. I don't have any money coming in until September 30th. I'm just not happy when I don't work. I should exercise, but can't seem to get me up to do it, and that makes me angry with myself. I miss having my Mom and my best friend to talk to and encourage me when I'm down.

So, I started praying. I prayed, and prayed and I'm still praying. Sometimes through tears of sadness and sometimes through tears of joy. Sometimes praising and thanking, and sometimes leaving it up to the Holy Spirit; because, I just don't know what to say. That's what I did last night when I couldn't sleep.

Father God....
Thy kingdom come on earth! Help me be an instrument of its happening.
Forgive me for being so weak. Teach me what I need to learn. Open my eyes and mind to recognize when your speaking to me. Give me the courage to take the steps needed to be what you intended.
I ask by the power given through your son, Jesus, The Christ. The Anointed One!
Amen

Here's what replies I've received so far:
  • You are a crusader; be your own cause!
  • The Kingdom of Heaven is within. You will find all you want, desire, need there.
  • Christ, The Anointed One, lives within you; let Him out.
  • I AM given the gift of life FROM God.....What I do with that life is my gift TO God!
  • Wasting your gifts is a sin.
  • Nothing stops a determined soul; absolutely nothing!
  • You know what things you should be doing; get off your ass and do them.
  • If you don't want to be used - put a stop to it ------otherwise----shut up the bitching.
  • Pray! Ask God to remove the veil, the gag, the chains. Believe you receive them, and you will!
  • The only limitations you have are the ones you place upon yourself.
  • Avoid negative people if you want your enthusiasm and imagination to remain. Negative people sap your vitality and power just as a tick drains blood from it's victims.
I'm glad I have God to turn to at times like this; because, my life wouldn't make any sense without Him.

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25.7.05

Frustration Sucks!

I'm Angry! I don't want to be but I am!

This morning my daughter calls me and asks what time my Dr. apt is? I tell her, "11:00 a.m." Then she says she was talking to Jasmin and she and James have their orthodontist appointments at 2:00 p.m but the only way they'll get there is if she pays for the gas; no more free rides. I said, "Yep that's right!" "I can't afford to drive anyone anywhere any more without them paying for the gas". Mind you she didn't ask if I'd take her; she never does, just lets it hang out there till ol' mom says something to the effect I'll take them. Then she says, " I'll call Jasmin and tell her."
Excuse me.....tell her what? I didn't say I'd take them. I just said I wouldn't take anyone anywhere free any more (I've been taken to the cleaners too many times and the free rides are over). She said she had to go that she was cleaning...and hung up.

Now just a few minutes ago I called to see if she was ready for a break. I get no answer.
Then a few minutes later I get a call. "What do you want!"
I replied, "I'll call you back." (she gets charged on her cell unless I call during the week)
"No, what do you want!"
"I was just calling to see if you were ready for a break; I am."
"No, I'm scrubbing my bathroom."
Now the tone of the conversation is totally different from when she called wanting something. Not the same friendly sounding voice; now it's a f-off voice.
So I said, "Ok, I won't bother you anymore today."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Bye"
"Bye"
Now maybe I'm totally nuts, but I always make time for her when she calls....Always! Is that asking too much in return? All I'm asking for is a civil tongue and a friendly word, since I am the person that's always available whenever she needs to talk to me?

I just got a letter from the other one saying she wished we could have had more one on one time together; Jackii, Robin and me. That there always seemed to be kids or having to go someplace or do something or run errands for someone.
My reply to her was pretty much welcome to my world. If I could disappear I would; because I'm too stupid or just refuse to die and get out of the way.

They played taxi and never got a dime. They probably didn't get much in the line of a thanks either; it's expected, and it was given freely.

I'm just flat out angry. I don't want to be, but this is just wrong. The only time I'm ever called is when I'm needed to give something. A ride (Just last Friday to the doctor I had to drive at least 60 miles to get her back home because she didn't want to stay at my place ALL DAY), money (It was $10.00 and $20.00 and whatever damn near weekly till I put a stop to it because I'm broke and not working this Summer), food (I just emptied out my freezer and most of my back up food on my shelves and sent 3 bags of groceries to their house in the past few days; I was told they were out), donation to some school drive (I put up a sign to all the kids in the apt building not to pester me; I'm broke, yet my own grandson bugs me through his mother and he does too), use of my car and/or my gas card ( to drive to the Portland airport or to Aberdeen when they want to go in a car. They have one, but you know;;;; it's not running right ---I keep my tank full so there goes my gas. I get it back never where it was. Last time I told them they could put $15.00 on my gas card if they needed it for an emergency on the way to the airport; they charged $37.50 plus the full tank I already had and never offered to pay any of it back. They know I'm not Madam Got Rocks; it would be different if I was.) Then there's I don't have anything to do, I'm bored, so I called you. (That one always ticks me off) I told Jackii I wished I had enough money to just disappear for real instead of being a part of the woodwork until someone needs something from me.

I'm serious. If I could pack up and leave without giving any notice and moving to another state or out of the country; I'd do it. Then let them fend for themselves. Bet they'd be pissed at me for not being there. It would all be my fault. There wouldn't be any, "Gee I miss Mom bull-shit, just the bitch just up and moved."
Why didn't I just not have kids? I don't need this shit!

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Hay Baby Wasssss Hapnen!

I saw a comedian last night that I can't believe he's as bad as he says. Of coarse I've met a few guys on my travels that did a good impersonation of this guy. Most of the men in my life; come to think of it. LOL Oh well! They were jokes too. Fun while they lasted; then move on to the next adventure.

I got an e from my granddaughter in Idaho; finally. After the feud between her and her mother no one heard from her.

When Jackii was up with the family I asked Maullery to tell Jessica I wanted her address so I could send the painting I did for her for her wedding gift. My thinking was Jessica would contact Maullery at least, so apparently that's where she got the word I wanted her to contact me. I don't know for sure, but my deductive reasoning tells me that's what happened.

She said she had a nice wedding and they have moved onto 42 acres and are renting a cabin in the woods. Sounds like heaven to me. I've always been a back woods people. Love animals and nature all around me, in fact I prefer that to people; I know what to expect from animals. Guess that rubbed off on her too, since most of her life she lived in a rural setting in the mountains of California.

Jackii and family made it back to Monterey without any problems to speak of and are picking up the pieces of their lives that were put on hold for their trip to Washington for two weeks.

I always loved going on vacation, but I loved coming home again too. Isn't that strange? Why can't we be happy wherever we are all the time? Must be a quirk in our nature; that restless spirit. My Dad, God rest his soul, always said about me, "Girl, you were born with a gasoline ass. You come by it honest though; that's the way I've always been. It's a good life; for the most part".

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18.7.05

Visiting with Family is so very Important

Well my youngest daughter and family were here for a visit and are now safely back in California. We had times we could spend together, but for the most part my girls and their families were together getting to know one another all over again.

Isn't if funny how much we all change over the years, yet we remain the same people we've been? I don't remember who said it, but I agree. No matter how much things change they stay the same.
My youngest girl is still the slow moving easy going gentle girl she's always been. My oldest is still the same red headed hot blooded fired up no moss grows on her as she's always been. Both girls love each other dearly, but their extreme differences tend to rub each other raw at times. I'm proud to see them work through their differences and still love each other.

The grandchildren are just the same as the parents. The only differences are the youngest are more whinny and hyper than the older one; and that's as expected.

So I know a little more now of the likes and dislikes of each one and I got to know my new son. I've never given my girls away. I accept the men they choose as my sons. LOL My oldest's hubby did the same thing when he was confronted with giving his oldest and his only daughter in marriage. He refused to give her away, but took her chosen spouse as his son. I just wish I could know how my oldest granddaughter is doing that lives in Idaho.
She got a hair up her butt and no one in the family has heard from her since.

Jessica....I hope your happy and healthy. I wish you'd contact your gramms. I have your wedding picture done and there's no address to send it to. I love you sweetie.

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16.7.05

I'm having one of those Summer days where I'm enjoying the feel of the air on my skin. The clouds are beautiful and I can see all sorts of things in them; critters, faces, birds, old men pushing carts. There is an occasional jet stream way up high. The neighbors are out mowing their grass; trimming the lawn; weeding. The kids in the my apartment building have a slip-n-slide in the back yard, outside my door; their squealing, sliding, bickering, squabbling and enjoying the fun of sneaking the dish soap out of the house (against mom's orders) to make the ride slicker.

My grandkids each spent one night at grandma's and the whole family will be leaving early tomorrow morning for home. They are going to bring me some home made clam chowder from their three days clamming in trade for some home made Elk kilbasa (Polish sausage). I told them I'd fix them up a little snack for the road to go with the kilbasa.

Justin finagled another full bedspread hand made crochet Indian blanket out of grandma. He said he liked feeling gramma's arms around him while he slept. That's so funny. Not the fact he feels grandma's arms, but the fact he said that; because everyone that has gotten one of my blankets has made the same comment. One girl (another adopted grandchild) said, "Gramma, I can smell you in the yarn; your perfume; and when I wrap up in the blanket, it just feels like your holding me. I sleep really good in your blanket." That's pretty much what they all say.

Anyway, this is one of those really nice Summer days. The sort of day we remember IS Summer; like God's blanket made just for our pleasure. This is living at it's best. Enjoying where I am at this very moment; to the fullest. Not many days are appreciated that much. Glad they sneak up on me every once in a while.

Hope your Summer brings you as much joy as you want; doing whatever, or not doing whatever you want.

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12.7.05

Promoting a Society of Liars

The other day I was sitting in my easy chair amongst my yarn, knitting away, when I heard a commercial on the TV.
"No honey, I haven't seen your lean pocket", the man was saying. Then later I noticed another blatant lie commercial. Then another and another and now I'm beginning to watch for them so I can count how many times viewers are being subtly brainwashed into believing it's okay to lie. It's alright to shade, stretch, bend, evade and outright lie rather than telling the truth.

Is it any wonder society is the way we are. We are busier now than we've ever been before in history, so daily we depend upon our TV's and radios to baby-sit our children, and we get most of our news and much of our entertainment from them. We are constantly being sold something. And my immediate thought was, "If the commercial is lying to sell us something, that company has to be a bunch of liars too." "Must be how the drug, tobacco and alcohol, soap and all advertising agencies are." Our psyches are being bombarded constantly with suggestions, and they aren't doing us any good as a society; pick up any newspaper and you'll see the results. We don't trust anyone any more. We don't connect with our neighbors or anyone else for that matter. Lies hurt people! Lies aren't good! Lies aren't even funny!

So the next time you get a phone call and don't want to answer it, and you tell one of the kids to lie and say your not there...Think about what message your sending. The next time you see a commercial making a joke of someone telling someone else a lie....Think about what message you and your family are receiving. The next time your spouse, or your Mother, or Father, or son, or daughter, or grandmother, or boss, or, or, or, lies to you....Are you going to think it's funny? It sure as hell isn't funny to me being lied to, and I do my damnedest to not lie to anyone. You bet it's hard, and sometimes I slip up by not telling the whole truth. I omit some parts sometimes to avoid hurting someone, but I'm trying to stop even that, because a lie is a lie is a lie. And in the end lies do more harm than good.

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9.7.05

FIGHT AGAINST RACISM.

Here's something I got from a friend; read it and see what you get from it. Myself; I agree; BUT, I do have a comment to make at the end.
Subject: Racism
Good for Oprah!
I'm sure many of you watched the taping of the Oprah Winfrey show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jews and Asians would buy my clothes, I would not have made them so nice.
I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class
white people." His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES". She immediately asked him to leave her show.
My suggestion?
Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger. Let's give him what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. Not to worry, I couldn't afford them anyway!
BOYCOTT. PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW.


The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London:
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. Madam, what is the matter?" the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it
then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on
this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no
seat in business class. All the same, we still have one place in first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It
is not usual for our company to permit someone from economy class to sit in first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain
feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so
disgusting."
She turned to the black man and said,
"Therefore, Sir, if you would like to move, please collect your hand luggage, as a seat awaits you in first class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who were shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up and applauded.
This is a true story. If you are against racism, please send this message to all of your friends. Please do not delete it without sending
it to at least one person.
FIGHT AGAINST RACISM.

Alright before I go any further, I did mail this to everyone in my address book; because, I'm against ALL racism. Even this display against Tommy Hilfiger. Yes I said against him. That is what my comment is about.
Why is it?
When ANY white makes a comment it's racist, but it's okay from any other color or race?
Whites aren't permitted to have white colleges and universities but Blacks can?
Remember the statement "A mind is a terrible thing to waste!"? That was/is used as an advertisement for the Negro college fund. How come they can get special funds for helping them but whites aren't allowed? It's racist if whites do it.

How come?
The whole time I was a single parent raising my kids I was turned down for every help offered. My skin is white; I'm a mix and I never played on my American Indian heritage. I worked 2 and 3 jobs and damn near had to prostitute myself to survive, but never got one lick of help because I was white to them. I'm Irish, Scotch, German, Dutch and Cherokee so I don't deserve to get help. My kids can do without. We can live in the street, do without an education, eat crappy food, get raped and molested, used and abused and that's okay with society. But let these same things happen to any brown skin, yellow skin or any other adopted new American; even illegals...And they get on the top of the list for welfare, food stamps, college help, housing assistance, medical; even help with the utilities.

Don't tell me there isn't discrimination and racism against whites; It happened to me and it's still happening to my daughter.
Why is that okay? Can anyone answer me that? What the hell did I ever do to anyone to deserve getting shit on because my skin is considered by society to be white? My half-breed son-in-law gets the same treatment; Mowapin Nation (I'm not sure of the spelling) and the same other mix as me minus the Cherokee.
We've never asked for anything unless we desperately needed it; you know the old pride thing. Yet EVERY time I was refused and the only help my daughter and family could get was medical for the kids.
I'm sorry if this offends someone, but I'm offended that I'm being forced to accept unequal treatment and this is suppose to be okay. Well it isn't okay! Racism is wrong no matter what color you are....No matter what nationality you are....No matter what nation you are affiliated with....No matter what sex you are....No matter what! What you are!!!
FIGHT AGAINST RACISM.

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8.7.05

Danger! Brown Recluse Graphic Warning!


































Brown recluse spiders bite results. www.brown-recluse.com/ have been in California and desert area for many years. They came over on the boats bringing stuff from the tropics. They will get into your houses too. Fumigate at least once a year and dung out all corners also at least once a year.
Spiders, all spiders are the hardest things to get rid of. They multiply so prolifically that even spraying can't kill all the eggs all the time. You could spray every month and still there could be some to live through it; that's how hearty they are.

Yep! The only other spider that is as deadly as the Black Widow; or worse; is the Brown Recluse/violin/hobo spider and it is similar in appearance (make special note of the marking behind the head and on the back) but ranges from brown to white. Isn't it nice to trade with other countries? Makes ya wonder doesn't it? I had never seen the pictures of what they can do but have heard many horror stories. I hope you will heed the warning and use extreme caution with these deadly spiders.

This is from my sister: "Oh MYGAW.... From my own experience other spiders can be traumatic too! I was told that the most harmful spiders are the ones that lay hidden under rocks and shrubs. These contain venom to paralyze or kill their unsuspecting prey. I got two bites from an unseen culprit while clearing thick foliage in the yard. One was substantially effective in the paralysis of my right leg in the inner calf. As the venom worked out of my system through GRADUAL RELEASE while walking and flexation of the muscle tissue. Just as gradually other bodily functions were influenced and it didn't clear out of my system until March of this year. The bite was last September of 04. I HIGHLY recommend keeping shrubbery clear and don't let them have a site to sta rt in the first place . Staying 'out of there' is a great idea! You don't want to be bitten, your kids don't need it and least of all they'll multiply and it isn't necessary. Hey, that sunshine ain't so bad ya know?! I could've gone a whole lifetime without that adventure. I wished I had!
Stay safe! Hugz, Jillz"


Don't mess with him !

WARNING: These are very disturbing pictures of this man's hand. Our experience with this type of bite was not anywhere near this bad. He must have gotten an exceptional amount of venom. The picture of the Brown Recluse Spider at the beginning of this message, and the links provided, can help you further. You really want to see the spider for future reference.


I tried to show with these graphic pictures the progression of a brown recluse spider bite. The affected skin actually dies on the man's body. Some of the pictures are pretty nasty, but take a good look at the last one -- it is a picture of the spider itself.

The Brown Recluse Spider is the most dangerous spider that we have here in the USA.

A person can die from it's bite. We all should know what the spider looks like. Warn people you love, because it's summertime. People are now digging around, doing yard work, spring cleaning, and anyplace these deadly spiders can hide and set up their home is a potential death trap for whomever the unsuspecting person or animal is that invades their space. Kids especially love digging around in places where these spiders hide.

Please be careful. Spider bites are dangerous and can have permanent and highly negative consequences.

They like the darkness and tend to live in storage sheds or attics or other areas that might not be frequented by people or light.

If you have a need to be in your attic, go up there and turn on a light and leave it on for about 30 minutes before you go in to do your work. And wear protective clothing and thick gloves. I would suggest lighting the area with lots of light and bombing before you consider entering their lair. That could be your old chest in the closet....Think about it!

As the saying goes, "Better to be safe than sorry!"

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7.7.05

Where's my Shoe?

Busy Busy Busy...Seems like everyone is busy except me now. I sit here hurting.
My own fault.... I ate too many fresh ripe cherries and got the golly wobbles. That's what we used to call it.

I received a call from my girls, wanting to do a Bar-B-Q. The plan was to drive 50 miles to Westport to the Slip 8 Seafood Connection (My friend's store on the dock) then back 50 miles to pick up Jasmin in Raymond then drive 68 miles to Bay Center. Have the Bar-B-Q then me drive another 68 miles home again and get there about 10 or 11 at night since all this plan wasn't even started until around 3:30 in the afternoon. (My youngest would make a great poster child for procrastination.) When I refused to go along with the goofy plan; Robin modified it after blaming Jackii for the late start. Her modification was for me to drive to the market down the street and hitch a ride with Jackii and her family and Robin and Tim would pick up Jasmin. Now mind you my grandkids haven't seen me in 10 years and they are both unruly and terrors at knowing how to behave. Jackii is one of those mustn't disturb the child type mothers. Let them be themselves.
Me...Bull-shit! The kids won't behave because they aren't made to behave. They get their way all the time.

You've seen the kids on the Nanny 911... that's my grand kids of the last 10 years I've heard over the telephone. NO!
I WILL NOT BE STUCK IN A BACK SEAT WITH THAT....I'D BE KILLING THEM BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT HIT THEM.! Jasmin and James has always marveled at my ability to remove my flip flop sandal and whack them and have it back on my foot before they know what happened. It's become a standing joke in the family which these grand kids don't know about.....YET!

So... I said no. When they have all had time to rest and settle in, then maybe okay, but I'm not being sardined into a car with brats; and I don't care who's brats they are....BRATS ARE BRATS! The so called excuse is they both have problems. Yep, they sure do. One is suppose to be hyper and the other bipolar. Sure.. Yep...Gotcha! Where's my shoe? I'll show you how to settle those kids down in just one lesson. Whack the shits when they need it! Make them behave! There has to be an adult and the adult has to be in charge. Kids can't be permitted to make the rules.
Now granted, I haven't seen how they are since Aaron came into the picture, but Jackii; God love-her, doesn't know the first thing about discipline. She argues with them until forever; then asks me what can she do. She finally gave up asking because she didn't like my answers, and went to another doctor.

You know how I feel about doctors...mouthpieces for the drug companies. The license only gives them the right to PRACTICE; they haven't got it down right yet or it wouldn't say they have the right to PRACTICE medicine. I'd rather go to a PRACTITIONER; at least they don't claim to know it all.

Well that was yesterday. I just got a call. The girls again. This time they are in South Bend looking for fish to B-B-Q. They never made it to Westport. They just went to the beach yesterday. So the B-B-Q plan is on for today minus the Westport trip. I guess it's minus the fish too, they were headed for the market for meat.
I reiterated my stand on driving for this month. This makes about the 5 time I've told Robin. They just don't seem to understand... I'm Not Working Right Now....SCHOOL IS OUT... REMEMBER? When I don't work, I don't get paid.
Dah! The bills go on but the money don't.

Then there's the recent operation I just had, I'm still recuperating from and not suppose to drive any more than necessary. Add to that, lack of funds for the 2.50 per gallon we pay for gas here in South Bend now; I drive a 1989 Buick LaSabre...NOT CHEEP ON GAS!

And, I need to make my doctor and dentist appointments I've already made for this month. I've still got 3 to go.

One would have been cheaper:
1. Had Robin not moved another 68 miles away.
2. Had she paid me the 30.00 gas money it took to play taxi for her already this month.
3. If she didn't expect me to pay for the gas to go out of my way to get her so she could take up most of my day allotted for my original dentist appointment.

She got angry with me when I told her I couldn't afford all that gas money, and would have to get up at 4 a.m. to come down to get her; she said it didn't take that long to drive to her house...excuse me kid...I don't jump out of bed and into clothes and start driving...I like to give me at least an hour to wake up{so I'd be leaving at 5 a.m. from my house. Besides, what about Rosey? I can't just go and not tend to her before I go...I do it every day that I drive bus.{I get up 45 minutes earlier to drive 1 mile to work. I'm looking at at least 2 1/2 hours just to be back here in South Bend. Then head the opposite direction (switchback roads with animals and log truck traffic all the way on all roads} to drive another 150 miles to her doctor appointment {she's getting her special brace measurements} she is suppose to be at by 10 a.m. (she's never been there before) then leave that appointment {the man makes prosthesis for amputees} in time for my original dentist appointment at 1 p.m. After all the appointment crap; am I going to be hurting in my mouth too? Then drive back another 150 miles to South Bend, so I can drive another 68 miles to take her home to Bay Center, and then back another 68 miles to get me home finally at probably around 7 or 8 p.m.

She hasn't got a clue...that's an extra 352 miles I'm driving for her (remember the--- I'm not suppose to drive any more than necessary order?) add to that, no sign of any money help for the gas. I've paid for the gas the last 2 times I've ran it out for her and it's totaled over 100.00. I just used the last of this months money for gas when I filled my car again from this last weeks taxiing. It was 28.00. Meaning I can't drive any more than I have to; until I've been to the doctors; -- IF-- I have any gas left from this trip.

I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY EXTRA...WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?

My car was used for taking James to the airport too when he left. They even used my gas card. I didn't get any money back from that either. Where's all this gas money suppose to come from? My rich Uncle? I don't have a rich Uncle any more; I was disinherited....cut out of the will. He's dead! I'm broke!

Where's my shoe? My oldest needs a whack!

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5.7.05

The Coloring Book for Adults

I've decided to make my own coloring book, since I can't find any publisher that wants to do it. They all want that crap for kids. Two lines and a ball type shit.

I'm drawing more intricate pictures for adults to color with watercolor pencils and or paint and frame; if they want. I settled on pen and ink drawings rather than pencil due to the smudging, and my copier doesn't filter out the smudges. Pencil works great for shading, but it doesn't copy well. So, I've been drawing with ink pen. I have about 50 pictures available now.

I have some colored inks that would be nice to use too if I can find a nice calligraphy pen, or a fountain pen that flows nicely; but till then I'm using fine point felt markers, and ball point pens. Once I get the ink flowing right again (it's been a while since I've just used pen) I will be drawing pictures on heavy bond copy paper, then copying the drawings and compiling my own pictures into coloring books. I can get the slip on covers and attaching sleeves fairly reasonable and I have a source for watercolor pencils. When I get all the pieces together I'll be offering them on eBay, and on my blogs in kits which will include pencils, brushes and spray bottles.

Who knows maybe a publisher might like to pick up on the idea after I've done it myself. Then again,,,,maybe I don't want them now. LOL

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2.7.05

I'm taking a couple days off

I'm so exhausted from running all over the place and worrying and working and and and .....

I went to the Birthday party today that was a combined 4th party. I missed the fireworks this evening due to I just couldn't hack it any longer. I didn't get much sleep last night due to the medication I was given by the doctor. It's given me the scoots. Swell! Anyway, I'm pooped...oops! Freudian undergarment there...LOL

I took some of my kick ass horseradish over to go with the home made kilbasa. I had made a big shrimp cocktail yesterday so I didn't have to do much today; thank God. Anyway, I spent about 4 hours there and came home still sick and warn out. I need sleep and just plain time off, so that's what I'm going to do. Jackii and her family are due here in 3 days and it will be a mad house for 3 weeks. Calling for Jury duty (do I serve or not; every day) and a dentist appointment on the 13th plus helping Robin and family move into their house 50 miles away. Loaning out or driving my car to Portland airport to pick up James and more doctor visits in amongst all this activity. I think I'm entitled to some down time while I can get it.

So, if you have any problems, suggestions, questions or whatever...Go ahead and ask; just don't expect a fast reply.
Now you'll know why.

Have a great 4th Holiday and stay safe. Drive like everyone is out to kill you and remember.... YOU CAN PREVENT FIRES! So don't set off fireworks in or near anything combustible. See ya in a few days...ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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1.7.05

Do with this whatever you want

This is my own personal comment...Do with it whatever you want. My disgust surfaced after I received a media clip of Michael Jackson cartoon titled "Never copped a feel".
It just goes to show ya..
You can kill your wives and get away with it.
You can molest kids and pay their parents off, when your famous or have enough money for the get out of jail free card. Enough money will get you anywhere and anything you want. You don't have to be right, just or even honest.
But....Just make sure you don't let any Christian Bible thumpers infect this country with prayer. Don't allow those do-gooders to celebrate their faith in public on their most important holiday of the year; someone might learn respect; can't have that. You must stop the insanity of encouraging morality, abstinence, kindness and justice. Just believe everything rotten that's said about Christ followers and free the perverts and murderers. Let the politicians lie us into wars and pad their own pockets with special favors.
Every other religion except Christianity has a right to their beliefs. We disserve equal rights too. We don't all agree with the so called religious right, Republicans aren't the only ones entitled to opinions and not everyone follows the edicts from the Vatican or even the ravings of Johnstown and Waco nuts. They all are giving us a bad name and we aren't permitted our 1st amendment rights. Someone might get offended.....no one cares that I'm offended.
I never promoted bigotry, slavery, stealing anyone's country, fighting wars for big money people nor have I tried to deprive anyone from having a right to their beliefs; even when I don't agree. I've never wanted to see anyone denied an honest defense for charges brought against them. I'm just righteously pissed to see justice can be bought.
This country disserves to be burned to ashes if the people continue to condone such blatant wrong. And just so you don't misunderstand me....I'm not talking about terrorists burning our country. Read the Bible...the book of Revelations and you'll know this earth is on a fast track to burning. If your smart, you'll learn something from your mistakes, and just maybe be able to save your asses by turning to the only savior there will ever be. Jesus.
Jan

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