Blogging Melodrama

Within the Tempest a Still Small Voice.

The past few days I've been in a melancholy state; blue; down, depressed, sad. Why? Lots of reasons.
I guess the main one would be I'm tired of being alone, broke, and stuck at home. My family are all too busy to make time for me in their lives. I can't afford to do anything to break the monotony, and I am fed up: with trying to clean with water, paint when I'm not happy, go for days without talking with someone face to face, and I don't talk on the phone unless I'm the one doing the calling; then it's like I'm an imposing or intruding even if I haven't called for days.

I'm tired of eating crap I'm not suppose to eat; because, I can't buy what I should eat. I can't visit anyone, or drive anywhere; I have to save the gas for when I go back to work. I don't have any money coming in until September 30th. I'm just not happy when I don't work. I should exercise, but can't seem to get me up to do it, and that makes me angry with myself. I miss having my Mom and my best friend to talk to and encourage me when I'm down.

So, I started praying. I prayed, and prayed and I'm still praying. Sometimes through tears of sadness and sometimes through tears of joy. Sometimes praising and thanking, and sometimes leaving it up to the Holy Spirit; because, I just don't know what to say. That's what I did last night when I couldn't sleep.

Father God....
Thy kingdom come on earth! Help me be an instrument of its happening.
Forgive me for being so weak. Teach me what I need to learn. Open my eyes and mind to recognize when your speaking to me. Give me the courage to take the steps needed to be what you intended.
I ask by the power given through your son, Jesus, The Christ. The Anointed One!
Amen

Here's what replies I've received so far:

• You are a crusader; be your own cause!
  
• The Kingdom of Heaven is within. You will find all you want, desire, need there.
  
• Christ, The Anointed One, lives within you; let Him out.
  
• I AM given the gift of life FROM God.....What I do with that life is my gift TO God!
• Wasting your gifts is a sin.
• Nothing stops a determined soul; absolutely nothing!
• You know what things you should be doing; get off your ass and do them.
• If you don't want to be used - put a stop to it ------otherwise----shut up the bitching.
• Pray! Ask God to remove the veil, the gag, the chains. Believe you receive them, and you will!
• The only limitations you have are the ones you place upon yourself.
• Avoid negative people if you want your enthusiasm and imagination to remain. Negative people sap your vitality and power just as a tick drains blood from it's victims.
  

I'm glad I have God to turn to at times like this; because, my life wouldn't make any sense without Him.

posted by Jan myrz @ 5:51 PM