Blogging Melodrama

Tough Love

I finally had to tell my oldest to quit asking for money and food help.
I put it to her no more money and I wasn't emptying out my freezer any more for them so they could eat meat while I live on soup. If they are hungry they can come to my house and eat soup with me.
Now that wouldn't be a problem to my daughter and her son; however, her husband and daughter are picky eaters. He only wants meat. She only wants vegetables and both only want junk foods.
Here's my bitch;
I've helped them since they got married and they have never paid me back completely, in fact I keep signing off the debt like I'm wealthy and can afford that. NOT! I've helped them until I have no home any more, no nest egg for my old age, no economy vehicle and I live in a state I didn't choose to live in because I was hurt and needed someone to help.
I came with them; used all my 401K money paying for their habits and to keep a roof over my head and the utilities paid and food in the refrigerator.
When I ran out of money; after I paid the rent and refused to give them another 300.00 a month I got thrown out in the street.
I continued to help them because I loved them; and still never got paid back without bitching and driving them nuts like a bill collector.
This last time was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I felt sorry for my daughter because she's the sole support of the family.
I paid 50.00 on their electric bill thinking that would help her.
then a couple days later I get called and asked for another 40.00 for the kids for a trip they were going on at school. Now this is on top of the 3 times I've filled their car with gas in the last 4 weeks and the large beef roast I took out of my freezer to feed them and several other items on that time through my stores of food to feed them. This time they got my only Tbone steaks because the crockpot dinner I offered wasn't good enough.
I was hit up for the money and food like every other time they call (the only time they call I might add) and promised like every other time to have the money and food back to me by the next day.
Never have I gotten any paid back when promised. Something always comes up.
So I cut it off and not in a bad way either. I wasn't mad and still am not mad.
I just know that the only way my kids will ever learn to stand on their own feet is if I quit enabling them.
See they both smoke. At least a pack a day which totals to about 300.00 a month.
I quit smoking about 8 years ago because I couldn't afford it any more. Not because I didn't want to smoke. I still like the smell of it and miss the habit sometimes; especially when I'm trying to loose weight. But I know it isn't good for me, and I can't afford it; there are things I can spend that same money on each month.
Up to now it's been on them. Now I want my own use of my own money for me; the only way I can use my own money for me is cut them off from the hand outs.
I hated my dad because he would Never help me; but he made me stand on my own two feet by not helping me. I told them once I was sorry that I had crippled them by helping them.
Now I'm telling them. Time to fend for yourselves and learn to work around your handicaps the same as I've had to do all my life.
What don't kill you will make you stronger. I heard that once and it's still true today.

posted by Jan myrz @ 6:39 PM