Five Stages to Death has gotten me in trouble already
I have worked on the book only 4 days and trying to get the outline and story line laid out before I would start writing in earnest November st. My book idea "The Five Stages of Death" has gotten me in trouble already. It's a fine plot and story line, and will probably work out to be a fair novel, but my moral code can't abide my own inefficiency.
Driving professionally means an exact schedule, so anything that messes with that schedule jeopardizes the job. I had two runs that I was suppose to do, and was all set and geared to do them. I missed my last run, thanks to trying to fit writing time into my daily schedule on a regular basis for the up and coming challenge of 50,000 word fiction book in 30 days Blogger has running the month of November.
I've suffered humiliation at work and self-inflicted brow beatings. My lack of dependability, forced another driver to cover my run. Now I look upon myself with digust. I'm no longer able to boast of rock solid dependability and punctuality. This is the first time in my life I haven't been able to feel pride in myself. I let down people that depended upon me. Most of all I let down myself, and it hurts terribly. The first week I missed the run was an honest mistake, but this time it was all my own fault. I didn't pay close enough attention to the time.
I've learned something from this experience though; I can't participate in the challenge. I can't allow myself to let down the people I serve, because my honor is at stake. If I can't carry my head proudly then I have nothing of value to myself or to my God. I'm not a super human, but I won't go through life doing things slip shod or half assed and call them good. A lie is a lie is a lie. When people depend upon me I'm telling them they can believe me and they can believe in me; if I let them down, then I've lied to them. That's the problem with ALL our politicians today and so many others; I can not and will not join them.
I must be the best person I can be at all times, and I must give my best to the world at all times; it's just my moral code of honor that must be upheld. And so for this reason I will plug along on the book idea in a blog and welcome any input anyone might have to make it better, but I will not get into a competition that sells out my honor. I still live by my family motto "Nobles Oblige"; what I must do I will do with honor.
posted by Jan myrz @ 1:52 PM
1 Comments:
I know, all too well that horrible pit-of-your-stomach guilt ridden feeling and so I totally understand not participating in the writing challenge. Sure, it would be fun to try, just NOT this time around. Maybe next year, after you've had time to prepare and organize a workable schedule, you can show them all how it's done, without losing yourself in the process. I'm really sorry this "flub" happened to you, and will continue to wait, no matter the time frame for your novel online. Best luck and see you around. Take care.
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