Blogging Melodrama

Ellen Degenerus said, "It's flu season, so live dangerous; lick a door knob".

After I finished laughing I began thinking about that statement. Is there anything good about flu season?

Being sick and living in a small town is great, I have friends or relatives that bring soups and stews; home made bread, rolls or corn bread to go with the casseroles and stuff. I especially like the platters of burn my face off buffalo wings that cauterizes a raw throat.

I hate watching all those commercials and home shopping programs while looking for something decent. Then there's the soap operas that suck big time. My life is a soap opera, why in the name of God would I want to watch one on TV?

Reality shows fit right up there with the home shopping network in my book. I don't want real life; I get that every day. I want some make believe, fantasy, fun; some excitement and happiness. I want adventure and good movies without commercials. One great movie right after another all day and all night; no repeats. I don't even care if it's in color or not, if it's good. Otherwise most TV is enough to drive me back to work.

When I'm really sick, I'm stuck on the couch or m-biserable in bed. I'm running a fever and sn-dflling into a tissue. I can't say m-bilk, or creamb or emb and emb's. My ears feel plugged and everything sounds m-bagnified through a tunnel. My hair hurts and there's a perfect A-pitched ringing in my head that never goes away. The entire Army Reserve marches over my body during the night leaving tread marks in my forehead. I have bruised sides from someone beating me with a baseball bat. My ribs ache to breath from coughing so much and my poor nose resembles a partially pealed cherry tomato with dried seeds stuck to the openings. I didn't get the aloe tissues I must have grabbed the dollar store recycled sandpaper by mistake.

Is there anything good about flu season? Not much, so I'll pass on the door knobs and the flu this year. There's nothing good on TV.

Who needs flu shots? I found a serving of Jewish Mama's get well soup and a bagel. That will fortify me.