Re: My Opinion Re: the feud between you and your "Mother"
This is really long but I can't do it any other way. It's worth the time to read.
Re: Three parts
1. My reply to Jessica; also mailed to Jackii and Aaron.
2. Letter from Jessica to me "Aren't Mother's great"
3. Letter from Jackii and Aaron "On going bull shit"
Jessica,
I wish I had a Mother to fight with; she's dead and I miss her so. I'm in a quandary over the feud between you and your Mother. What is it? It's how can I be kind and honest with you both and still be a loving representative of God while being both Mother and Grandmother. Well after much thinking and chewing it over I've come to this.
I want you to understand I am not attacking you nor am I going to attack your Mother. I have the blessed gift of being able to see both sides (always!) So don't expect me to turn on your Mother, nor will I turn on you; I will just be as honest as I can be without deliberately hurting you.
Remember always, I will always love you.
First thing I have issue with is turning family in to the government authorities; i.e.. CPS.
Being a practicing Christian I take issue with anyone that does such a spiteful thing. Our loving Lord tells us not to take our fellow Christians to the governing authorities except as a last resort. He (Jesus) tells us to first confront the person we are having problems with (one on one; up close and personal). If an agreement can't be made between the two parties in the dispute, then and only then, go to the Church elders and take them (not the government) to the person we have a dispute with and try to come to an agreement.
You took the other route. You went to your Father. Come on now Jessica. Your Father and Mother have never seen eye to eye on anything. The best thing that ever came from their relationship was you. You forget the times you had to be rescued by your Aunt Robin. Your Father beat the shit out of your Mother and left you with a black eye from slamming the door in your face. But you were small, you could forget that. Your Mother can't. Her only thought was protecting you. That is why she didn't stay with him and continue being beat upon and abused.
Now the next issue:
I hear two sides on several things and they don't add up. Why? Because you are each trying to make your own sides convince the bystander to see your perspective sides as being Gospel truth. Well I have news for you. Any first year Psychology student can tell you that you both are telling the truth and are both seeing what you perceive as the only view to bee seen. But that isn't the case. There is always another view. That is from anyone on the outside looking in; and their views won't match with anyone else's either. That is why God tells us to be forgiving. (for ourselves to be forgiven) Merciful (for our own need of mercy) kind and gentle in our dealings (there's that pesky golden rule again) And as so eloquently stated in Corinthians: we are to show love to everyone (not just special people, but everyone; even those that hurt us.)
Now I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your Mother. You must do what YOU know is the RIGHT thing to do. Not what you think will please someone else or what is expected of you, but WHAT YOU KNOW IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO; NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET HURT (AND YOU WILL GET HURT) ALL YOU CAN DO IS WHAT IS RIGHT AND HOPE SOMEDAY THOSE THAT ARE HURTING YOU WILL ONE DAY WAKE UP. WHEN THAT DAY HAPPENS (AND IT WILL ) YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO BE THERE AND ENJOY THE REUNION. Remember the prodigal son?
Someday you may have children of your own, and when it happens I pray you never have to go through the crap your Mother was forced to endure with hers. I pray you never have to go through the crap your Aunt Robin and Uncle Tim has gone through with theirs. And I pray you never have to go through the living nightmares I've had to endure with mine; both blood and love adopted children and grand children.
I speak from my own personal knowledge; those times are like living in hell. Wide awake and can't do a thing to stop the horror that's happening to yourself and the dear ones you love. All you can do is hope your sanity remains when it's all over and you can pick up the pieces of your respective lives and walk on proudly together into the future.
You only see your side. Try seeing the other side and see if you don't understand a little more of what SHE was going through.
Sure.... you don't like the fact that she went out and tried finding another man. But you know something. I did what your Aunt Robin wanted and now I'm alone for the rest of my life. Is that what you want for your Mother?
Or do you really think you have a right to try to steal your sister and brother from her through lies and back handed conniving, just because you miss them?
You have your own addenda Jessica, and it doesn't include being a Mother to them. You've built such a false picture of their lives that you actually believe what you are thinking.
Remember the scripture "Seek and ye shall find?"
Your looking for any reason to get them, even if it means destroying your Mother. THAT ISN'T LOVE!
You want to be a Mother; have your own babies. Just practice being a long-distance sister. Your the one that chose to leave them; not them leaving you. You could have stayed close enough for them to visit, but you chose moving hundreds of miles away. THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE. SO JUST BECAUSE YOU MOTHER ISN'T WEALTHY IS NO REASON TO PUNISH HER.
As for your wedding:
I sat and listened to your Mother cry because she didn't think you wanted her at your wedding. Then when I read your e-letter (below) and their reply (also below) I got the feeling just from your letter you didn't want her there either.
I'm going to tell you right now, I won't be there; I'm poor too, so maybe that means I get cut out of your life too. See Jasmin and Leif paid for me to go to their wedding. Which brings up another point I'm not happy with about your actions.
They offered to pay for you to go to be Jasmin's flower girl and maid of honor. You wouldn't even do that for your cousin, and you knew how badly she wanted you to be there. That was a cold shot girl. That's not how you treat family you say you love.
All in all I'm very disappointed in your actions while spouting your love for family. Hopefully someday you'll wake up and smell the coffee. Otherwise, I guess you can be ashamed of your poor country hick adopted gramma too. I've had money and I come from money people and I chose to be with real people instead of cellophane piranha people with no hearts.
Mercy originates with God. Since we are created in his image, when we show mercy we reveal godliness. Not only is God the source of mercy, but he has enabled and expects us as his creation to reflect His attributes.
As Paul reminds us, mercy is not just something for our own benefit. In fact, since sin is essentially self-centeredness, righteousness is the opposite, focusing our lives outwardly, toward God and the needs of others. Like a cup filled to overflowing, when God is merciful to us, that mercy should spill over onto other people. After all, He gave his life for us; shouldn't we give our lives to Him?
We are also reminded that God doesn't promise an easy life for believers. We will continue to have troubles and we will stumble, but we can be confident that a merciful God is always there.
End quote.
So am I Jessica, and Jackii....I hope you will be too.
I've stepped off the rat race treadmill, and am enjoying life.
~~~~~~~~~~~Letter from Jessica~~~~~~~~~~~~
From:
jessica fletcher
Re: Aren't mothers great?
Today my mother told me that she hopes that I have a horrible life and die screaming. This hurt, but in so many ways this was not surprising because she has said very hurt full things to me in the past, she once even told me that no one will ever love me because I wasn’t wroth being loved. Our conversation started with her tell me how horrible I am because I didn’t set her up a place for her to stay when she comes up for the wedding. That right there was a bit of a shock because I told her over three months ago that she had to find a place to stay (because I might still be staying with Norma) and gave her a list of relatives in the area that she could call, she called non of them and said that it’s my responsibility to take care of her when she gets up her because she’s travailing such a long distance. Well I thought by giving her the names and numbers of local relatives was helping out to be honest I didn’t really believe that she was even going to make it up here because of her financial situation and I’m not able to pay for her way up here. Well that argument turned into why “our relationship� changed. I for the first time in my life was completely honest with how I feel instead of just nodding my head and giving into what ever will make her happy. So I told her that she changed after divorcing Kevin and it was a hard adjustment to be around her because she was not the same person I knew for over ten years. I felt like at that time she had thrown up her hands and said your all on your own. So I got a job, paid the bills and became a second mother for my much needed siblings. After telling her that she admitted that she was different but all she was doing was finding “her real self�, I guess she just forgot that she had a family to take care of. I also told her that I was having a hard time getting along with her because she has continually placed my siblings in harms way, and serious repercussions have occurred because of it. I even reminded her t hat she had even thrown me out of the house because I was trying to tell her about one of her boyfriends, (which later molested my sister). But she wouldn’t listen, because she saw me as just some that was trying to ruin all of her fun. So I admitted that I did the only thing that I thought could be done to protect my brother and sister. I called my father and after telling him what was going on, him and his wife said that they would take my siblings in as their own and raise them, after that offer I turned around and called CPS. I didn’t do it because I hate my mother or “I wanted her to pay�. I did it because I really felt like my siblings lives her in extreme danger and my mother wouldn’t do anything to change it. While CPS did nothing just like my mother and my sister is now scared for the rest of her life. But my mother didn’t hear anything I said except that I was the one who called CPS, and without letting me say anything more she proclaimed that I didn’t care about my family or the repercussion of my actions, that I was being selfish and only thinking of what would be best for me. That’s when she told me that she hopes I live a horrible life and die screaming, then she hung up. I’m not really sad about losing my “relationship� with my mother because all she ever did was put me down and make me cry I cant even remember the last time I was able to talk to her without leaving with tears in my eyes, but I will dearly miss my siblings. I care so much for them and only want the best for them and that’s the number one reason I get so mad at my mom. But even before she said all of these things today she had told me prier that I wasn’t allowed to see my siblings because it was my fault for moving away and not seeing them would be my punishment. I feel like I have no right when it comes down to seeing my own siblings and now because of all of this I fear I may never see them again.
~~~~~~~~~Letter from Jackii and Aaron~~~~~~~~
From:
Aaron and Jackie Ireland
Re: on going bull shit
Did Jessica send you the same letter she sent out to like a hundred people about me being the monster mother of all time? She sent the letter to her sister too and when Mallaurie called her, Jessica told her she wished she had never been born if I had to be her mother. Ya, she said that. So I fired back on her without restraint to the point of how dare she write that letter to her sister and that she really truey needs mental help. Aaron got in the game too because Chris wrote me also telling me how unwelcome I was and that everytime she talks to me she crys...like what the fuck does she do to me...so anyway after Jessica telling Mallaurie that she wished I was never her mother, Aaron wrote them both....it's below...it's harsh to the point and final. When she said she would rather be dead than have me as a mom, all bets were off. I see nothing in our future ever.....Aaron's letter is below....let me know if Jessica had the balls to write to you (I can send you a copy but it was full of misquotes which strenghen her mental illness)
so here it is:
I love you and I supose there are people who say I deserve this for cutting my own mother from my life, but I never lived with that woman, she never raised me and when I tried to have a relationship with her, she ignored me. So the pollarity doesn't guilt me into speaking to that woman at all.....
You're my mom as far as I'm conserned and I love you with all my heart.
Love Jackie
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to both chris and Jessica;
you are finished in my book. First of all, Jessica, I thought you were a cool person but now I realize exactly what kind of person you truly are. When Chris kicked you out to fuck that whore, I came and got your shit and got you the fuck out of there so you could move on with your life. Then you turned around and went back to the cock sucker. Then you had the fucking balls to call Robin and tell her that I should be dating you and that you are concerned about me being around Mallaurie. Jackie has tried and tried again to make amends between you guys and I'm not going to fucking stand for it anymore. Listen and listen closely, I don't want to see you, hear from you, or anything to ever do with you ever fucking again. You have burned this bridge forever.
Now this is for Chris,
when I had the chance, I can honestly say I wish I would have wiped the floor with you and your weak ass father. You talk a big game but you don't have the balls to back it up. The only reason I didn't kick the shit out of you is because of out of respect for my children and my wife. They need me as much as I need them. In regards to what you told my wife about Jessica crying all the time, it sounds like a one sided opinion. You don't know the half of crying or the heartbreak I've seen Jackie go through because of Jessica. The cruelty and hatefulness and disrespect she has shown Jackie is unforgivable in my book. Don't show your fucking face around me or my family, and that goes for your whole fucked up blood line...
Jessica has a lot to do and say to have a relationship with her mother sister and brother. She has much to atone for. As for me, I'm through with the lot of you.
I don't want to talk to you anymore, and I have washed my hands of this whole situation. In the past there has been situations we have had to let go for the betterment of our family and it seems quite clear this has become one of them.
If you ever deciede you have the balls to confront me bring it on, I've been waiting for that moment forever.
1 Comments:
Like I said to you on the phone over the past week, I am so greatful I have you to masterfully lead me through my blindness. Yes, God is the the true leader but you are my staff and such a great comfort within my darkness. I thank God so much that he led me to you so that I would know the comfort and compassion of family and not be the black sheep lost from the flock with the rest of the heard huddled away from me. You will always be such an inspiration to me. And within my heart you will always be my intended mother.
I love you so
Jackie
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