Travel Tips for Las Vegas
Yep, my trip to the place where they will stick the hose when it's time for the country to get an enema was interesting to say the least.
All I can say is if you ever want to go to Las Vegas, here are a few pointers for when you need a shock therapy vacation like mine.
1.
Look at everything painful in a positive way.
It was fun just getting away from home for a while.
The forced march walking was good; even though I hurt like a Mother-Trucker from my neck to my toe nails and I'm still stiff and sore. Good? Yes, because it probably ground down some of the bone spurs arthritus has formed on all of my joints; painful but beneficial.
Now that has to be a good thing, right?
I wonder if that's what they were saying on the "Trail of Tears".
2.
You can use the break from each other.
Leave the kids at home with someone.
3.
Take at least $5,000.00 with you, per person, so you can afford to have some fun.
You don't want to eat from the same boring $10.00 per person and up buffet all the time, even if they are in different buildings miles apart.
Taking in some shows cost anywhere from $75.00 to $200.00 per person.
Cab fares are $3.90 per mile with $1.50 flat extra fee, plus $3.60 gas fee, plus $2.50 mother-in-law tax fee, plus $5.00 having fun tax fee, plus $30.00 just for shits and giggles fee. It cost my son-in-law and grandson $55.00 to go 2 miles on the strip. They had walked the 2 1/2 miles of the strip and 1/2 mile back toward the hotel and got a cab for the rest of the way; Big Mistake!
4.
Stay at the cheapest hotel or motel you can get.
Stay for at least three days. Circus Circus was $39.00 for a regular room.
5.
Don't get suites.
Besides costing more, they aren't as comfy and nice as the regular rooms in the Circus Circus; big - yes! - comfortable - no!
6.
You can't open the windows; they are sealed shut.
Even on the 26th floor the windows were seald shut. Lower levels it's for safety of guests from breaking and entering. Higher levels it's for the safety of guests to keep them from jumping to their deaths.
From our room window we could see the bungy jumping platform and watch as people pulmited down toward the ground and pool with their ankles tied together. They resembled rag dolls being thrown around on a rubber band. My grandson did it 4 times...I would have too if I'd had enough money and a shirt that would stay down without exposing my flesh and bra.
7.
Don't think your going to get any rejuvinating restful sleep.
Set the guage on the wall at the mid point and the fan on low so you only have to get up once or twice during the night.
The air conditioning either freezes you or you have to turn on the heater to thaw yourself out several times during the night.
8.
Don't take purses with you to the casino.
Check all valuables into the room safe for 50¢. Stuff your ID in one side of your bra and take a change purse small enough to stuff in the other. There was a theft at the casino; a purse was snatched while a woman played the slot machines. It was in her posession in front of her at the slot machine.
Get out there and give them all your money before you get the heck out of Dodge like your expected to do.
Loitering is not permitted.
9.
Hang onto your directory, map of the hotel and door tags.
Be prepared to have a maid wake you up at 8:30/9:00 every morning unless you put out the little tag to tell them "Do Not Disturb" The problem was, they cleaned up that tag the first day and we never saw it again.
10.
Learn how to open sealed windows.
When you return to your room after being out for the day the place smells like you fell into a bottle of orange room scent. Did you remember -#6? You can't open the windows? AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Air!!!
I'll even take the dirty, dusty, smog air from outside the hotel; just gimme something I can breathe! Fast!
Now I know why my Mother used to say she didn't trust air she couldn't see.
11.
Mode of transportation.
If you can drive there, your fortunate. If you have to fly; make sure all your metal objects are in one cary-on bag, so you can get through the skin search faster. Remove your shoes and don't wear jewelry. In fact if you aren't shy, go through the scanner with as little clothing on as your modesty, and the law will allow.
Now I understand why women run around in their underwear in public.
12.
Whatever you'll need; buy it there.
Don't bother taking any sewing kits for minor repairs. Because you won't be permitted to take the tiny sissors onboard the plane; the airport SS will confiscate them. You might stab someone with them.
BUT! Take heart, you can still stab someone with weapons the airlines permits you to take on board.
Needles, metal nail files and horned rimmed glasses can still be filed down to sharp points; so when that person in front of you tilts back their seat into your 3" space you have for you legs, you can stab them in the neck, eye or temple; the preferred spot is up to you.
13.
To rent or not to rent; that is the question.
Economy car rental has a deal but if your under 25, don't rent a car. They rape you on fees worse than the cab company; but they smile nicely while doing it.
14.
Now the Paece' de resistance.
When you gamble, use folding money. Coins are a thing of the past; you will be receiving a white peice of paper when you cash out on the one-armed-bandits with a bar code on it for the amount of money due you. I have one for 1¢ which by the way is not accepted in any 1¢ machines.
The read out doesn't recognize anything in denominations other than $1 - $5 - $10 - $20's.
Isn't that precious? I had to go to a casheer so I could continue playing when I cashed out my $5.80.
I learned a little inside dirt from a family member that lives there. Whooo Hoo juicy tid bits rule!
Mr. Wynn's name is all over Las Vegas. He's even more wealthy than Donald the T. Mr. Wynn's trying to buy up all available land in an attempt to keep Mr. Trump from getting his nose in the door. Donald the T managed to buy one property before Wynny the poo-poo could stop him.
The city councel is trying to put a road block in Poo-Poo's path because of this sort of thing he's done all over town. A distant family member lost his job as a window washer, when Poo-Poo took over the distant family member's place of employment of 25 years. He was close enough to retirement at the time to get benefits, but lost them; along with all the other employees; young and old. None of the fired and layed off workers were rehired. He isn't well liked in Las Vegas because of his business practices.
The cast system is alive and well in Vegas; the rich and the poor, and never the twain shall meet. The citizens of Vegas are rooting for YOU, Donald.
There's an old saying that still fits today. "To win in Las Vegas, when you get off the plane; walk into the propellers" (today's planes have turbin engins, but they will still do the same job).
Till next time.....Sick'em Donald
Till next time.....Sick'em Donald
posted by Jan myrz @ 3:29 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home